Funny and funny stories

They told a story about Mom and her adult daughter returning from the cottage and going to the train station in the field. Mom was trying to pee and was looking for bushes, but there were no bushes around. She climbed into the bushes backwards, and her daughter corrected her, both of them screaming at the same time.

«Is it visible?»

«Yes, yes, it looks even further.»

Mom, who was a woman with unusually plump figures and pleasant, albeit large, shapes, backed further into the bushes.

«Is it still visible?»

«Yes, let's try again!»

She backed away again and again. Finally, her daughter gave her the go-ahead to start, and she sat down and relieved herself hard. When she was already standing up and pulling her panties on with relief, a voice sounded from behind:She turned around, embarrassed beyond measure, and a scene appeared before her. Three men, with glasses in their hands, sat on the grass and watched in horror as a massive female buttock inexorably emerged from the bushes and landed on their tablecloth like a bulldozer driven by a distant supervisor.

It was a time of relative stagnation. Two «crazy» medical students, Lech and Dimka, had been sent to our hospital as interns. The staff could not help but laugh or complain about their antics to the chief of staff. I especially remember one incident...In the morning, friends like to refresh themselves with the food they had prepared in the dorm. But that day, their stepuka was only enough for a loaf of bread and a bottle of lemonade.

In the middle of their meal, the door to the back room opened and a pretty girl's face appeared. She asked, «Is this a laboratory?»

Lech, who had assumed an important look immediately, asked, «Yes, what do you need?»

«To take the tests,» the girl said. She blushed.

«Oh, what have you got there?» Dimka asked immediately.

It's urine," the girl whispered.

When did you collect it?" Lech asked.

As ordered — before six o'clock this morning," the girl replied.

Oh, fresh!" Lech said, pointing at a glass that was filled with a yellow liquid.

Dimka asked, «Is that all?» with genuine annoyance.- Yes, the girl murmured even more softly. — But what else is needed?

— Well, what did you expect, — the friends shouted in unison, — we don't even have anything to spread on bread!...

It's fortunate that a passing nurse happened to have ammonia on hand.

There was a similar case in the army. The story became famous. At the Magen David Adom outpatient clinic in Israel, the clinic periodically visits the base where the soldiers serve, and everyone lines up to donate blood. According to Hebrew, «giving blood» would be «a litre of ladies»?

So, it was the turn of a young soldier. Turai (the soldier's rank) is a private repatriate from the Union. Apparently, the boy had arrived not too long ago and was not familiar with Hebrew.

A young nurse (X) approached the soldier © and asked: «H. — At a taram tada dam?» (Have you donated blood?). S. — «What?..» H. «Tagid, a taramtada dam?». S. — «Sho??!» H. — «Dam! A taramtata??» S. — «What??!» X. — «Comrade, give, a taramtada dam???» S. — «Pum-pururum! Boom, boom! Stay away from me!»Once, a therapist, psychiatrist, surgeon, and pathologist went on a hunting trip. We reached our destination, where we drank and… suddenly, a duck flew out from the reeds. The therapist, aiming carefully, said:

«Duck or not duck… I think it's not a duck, but maybe it is. Or maybe it's a duck… Who knows! But it's definitely not a duck...»

As he was talking, the duck took flight. After a few moments, another duck appeared. The psychiatrist, also having no doubt, exclaimed:

«It's a duck! I know it is!»

The next duck to fly out was the surgeon. Without thinking twice, he raised his gun and fired twice. The duck fell to the ground. The pathologist, surprised, asked:

«Do you hear that, Doc? Let's go see what happened!»They placed a soldier to guard the bricks on the banks of the reservoir. After some time, another soldier was sent to take his place. An hour passed, then another, and there was still no soldier. They sent in a sergeant who also disappeared. They then sent an ensign and he too was gone. The lieutenant decided to find out what was going on. He went and saw two soldiers, a sergeant and an ensign sitting on the bank. The lieutenant asked:

«What are you doing?»

The ensign responded:

«Do you see a brick?»

«Yes, I do. It's a normal brick, rectangular...»

The ensign threw a brick into the water and asked:

«Then why are there circles in the water?»