The best jokes about corporate events

The best jokes about corporate events

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— Hi, can I ask you a question?

— Ask away.

— Can I come to the corporate party with my wife?

— No, the holiday is only for employees.

— Hooray, great!

***

The New Year is approaching, and there will be new corporate heroes, and you, last year's, will finally be forgotten. It won't be long now.

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— Why are you so dressed up?

— A feast during the plague.

— New Year's corporate party?

— Yes.

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A young accountant Olga Vitalievna put on a corporate dress with such a revealing neckline that she fell out of it completely in the dance.

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— I was returning from a corporate party one day, and suddenly there were shouts from behind: «Stop! Stop!!!»

— Well, what about you?

— What's the use of standing there! I crawled with great difficulty…

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After the corporate party:

— And what time did you leave?

— I broke up closer to twelve, and left at two o'clock…

***

After the corporate party, the wife calls her husband:

— Darling, I can't get home, come and pick me up!

— good. And where should I pick you up from?

— I'm on the ground floor, near the elevator…

***

I am the only employee of the company in my city. Is it possible to call it a corporate event if I drink alone? Is my corporate life busy if I drink a lot?

***

According to sociological research, only 25% of organizations use the services of creative agencies to develop a corporate New Year scenario. The remaining 75% continue to trust alcohol.

***

New Year's corporate party options from our restaurant:

premium — 5000 rubles per person;

standard — 3000 rubles per person;

economy — 1000 rubles per snout.

The owner of the restaurant to the bartender:

— Today we are mixing the following cocktail: 5 grams of vodka per 100 liters of water.

— Is the mental hospital walking around?

— Hush… Homeopaths have a corporate party.

***

The husband brought his wife to a corporate party.

Wife. Who is this woman in red?

Husband. The boss's mistress.

Wife. And the one who is full?

Husband. Mistress of the chief accountant.

Wife. And in yellow?

Husband. Mistress of the department.

Wife. And this slender blonde?

The husband (forgot himself). And this is my mistress!

Wife (with pride). Ours is the best!

***

At a corporate party, you need to say «no» in time. If they ask, «Do you want a drink?» — answer firmly: «Why not?»

***

A beautiful blonde with breasts of the fourth size, who accidentally looked at a corporate party, spoiled the mood of the entire female half of the team.

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At Ikea, after the corporate party, the drunkest employees come up with names for new floor lamps.

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— Our employees have unique abilities! For example, they can resurrect after a corporate party.

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The corporate party was a success if you go to work the next day to the whistling and applause of colleagues.

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An employee and an employee get to know each other at a party. The girl asks:

— Are you married?

— Yes, not really…

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The fact that my head hurts terribly after the New Year's corporate party and I don't remember anything is fine. It's much worse that everyone at work comes up and asks sympathetically: «Well, has the boss already called?»

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Since the last corporate party, he managed to steal 4 liters of vodka, 1 kilogram of snacks and 62 kilograms of Veronica's HR specialist.

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— Dear, I'm going to a corporate party! I'll be late, drunk, maybe not alone. If anything, you're my brother.

***

I can imagine how a corporate party of supermarket employees is going. The cashiers cannot open the bottle themselves, they have to call Galya, who has her own corkscrew.

***

My wife arranged for my daughter to join her office for an internship. We returned from the New Year's corporate party early. Boring, they say. One was with her mother, the other with her daughter.

***

You go to these corporate parties, and it's always the same: boring and monotonous. But God forbid you miss it, like the next day everything is: «Oh, how cool it was yesterday!» Am I preventing them from having a good time?

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