APHORISMS- IF THERE ARE SYNONYMS
If there is alcohol left after drinking, it means that there are problems within the team
If people laugh at you all the time, then you bring joy to people.
If it's hard for you to gnaw the granite of science, try sucking.
If you stop drinking, you will immediately want to eat.
If the Italians have pizza as their national dish, then the Russians have pizza.
If you are a careful driver, you need a sturdy rear bumper.
If you were sent for a beer, then you are trusted.
If a person says that he loves you, it does not mean that he loves only you
If I understood all the jokes, I would have died of laughter a long time ago.
If life is like a holiday, you can't avoid a hangover.
If you woke up and you don't have a headache, then you drank the day before yesterday.
If the money is not pleasing, then it is not yours
If the photo album is small and thin, and the photo is one and ugly — it's a passport!
If a person has a conscience, at least he has something to trade.
If a woman sits on your neck, then you don't need to carry her in your arms anymore.
If a woman is angry, it means that she is not only wrong, but also understands it.
If an inner voice tells you that you did everything right, make no mistake, it may be spam.
If someone says to you, «Fool!», do not rush to think that he is smart, perhaps he just introduced himself.
If you suffer from insomnia, take a laxative. You won't fall asleep anyway, but at least you'll have something to do.
If a sandwich is buttered on 2 sides, then when it falls, it will start rolling from side to side.
If your relatives or friends don't call you for a long time, then everything is fine with them.
If today the broth was as warm as the wine, the wine as old as the chicken, the chicken as fat as the waitress, the waitress as clean as my pockets, it would be an unforgettable dinner.
If you don't care where you are, then you are not lost.
If you believe your reflection in a puddle, you are shallow and dirty.
Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean THEY're not watching you.
If you were sent for a beer, then you are trusted.
If you're going to drive moonshine, then — in three necks! — Snake Gorynych suggested.
If the prices are ridiculous, then the quality is great!
If a general overview of tax laws still causes vague thoughts like: «Wow...», then a detailed study of them already causes a specific thought: «Figs to you!»
If it has been like this for a long time, then it should be wrong or not at all.
If only one of the partners pretends to be satisfied in sex, it is torment, and if both are, it is love.
If it doesn't smell, it means it hasn't come yet.
If a man is a fool, it's for a long time, and if a woman is, it's nice.
If you are surrounded by fools, then you are the central one.
If you're not afraid of anyone, then you're the scariest.
If you approach a sleeping person and shout «Thirteen!» in his ear with all your might, he will immediately jump up and start looking around wildly. This proves once again the magical nature of the mysterious number!
If the chickens are rushing, then someone is chasing them.
If you left the iron on, it leads to a fire, and the faucet leads to a flood.
If your ears are ringing in the morning, then it's time to get up for work.
If your ears ring in the morning on a day off, then it's time to get drunk.
If the result does not depend on the solution method, it is mathematics, and if it does, it is accounting.
If you are attracted to positive people all the time, then you are negative!
If there is a concept of a contact person, then there must be a contact ass.
If you have enough money, then you don't have enough imagination.
If the fool acted wisely, don't be surprised. Well, the wrong person is the one who does not happen...
If you really love, then such a woman, so that with her it would not be a shame to catch your wife's eye.
If you can score on everything, then you're a HAMMER!
If you keep repeating the same mistakes, it means that you are not vindictive
If you mix some people with shit, you get a homogeneous mass.
If a man never lies to a woman, then he doesn't care about her feelings.
If a man shaved for the night, then he hopes for something, if a woman made up for the night, then the man shaved in vain.
If a man washes socks, it means they are his last.
If the husband opens the car door to his wife, then it is either a new car or a new wife.
If a person does not respond to your emails, then he is busy with some other, more important nonsense.
If you give dinner to the enemy every day, you can get a friend.